On the Difficulty of Waiting

by Jennifer Haynie @JenniferHaynie1

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

—Psalm 40:1 (NIV)

“Ma’am, the soonest new patient appointment we have is in three weeks.”

When I heard the receptionist at the doctor’s office state this at the beginning of August, my heart sank. I’d lost confidence in my old primary care provider. Issues associated with perimenopause had encompassed my life. I wasn’t sleeping, and I started having digestive issues that only a doctor could help me figure out.

What was a girl to do at that point?

I did what I had to do. I accepted the appointment for three weeks into the future.

And then I waited.

It’s hard to do.

We wait to get a doctor’s appointment. Then we wait to see the doctor. We wait for our kids. We wait for a meeting to start. We wait for a trip to begin. We wait for the test results to come back. We spend a lot of our lives waiting.

Some waiting, like waiting for a haircut or to pick up children after school, makes up the fabric of everyday life.

Some waiting is good. Who hasn’t anticipated the beginning of a long-awaited movie or trip or the arrival of a child?

But sometimes, the waiting cuts deep and tries our souls. Knowing that a diagnosis is terminal for a loved one and waiting for them to pass is excruciating. Waiting for the results of a medical test to come back can tie us up in knots.

This past summer, as I’ve battled these health issues that ambushed me from nowhere, I’ve truly learned how hard it is to wait on its resolution. It brought me to Psalm 40:1, which I wrote above.

This summer’s waiting has been good for me in that it’s driven me to prayer. I’m not talking about church prayer or prayers that we say at meals or at bedtime. I’m talking about hard, honest, cries to God that come from the heart.

During these times, I’ve learned something else about God. He’s a big God. He knows all of me, through and through, just like in Psalm 139. He knows our cries before we even utter them. He desires us to be honest with Him.

And you know what? When I’m honest with Him, when I share what’s on my heart, He hears me. That doesn’t mean my circumstances change. Not yet. But He hears me, and that’s such a great comfort.

I did have my doctor’s appointment last week. I have a path forward, and slowly, things are starting to improve. I have a bit to go, so now I have more waiting. And I’m learning, though I can be impatient, to trust God in this. He does indeed hear our cries.

When the waiting is hard and cuts deep, God hears our cries. #authenticity #encouragement Click To Tweet

Question: What has been the most difficult part of waiting for you?

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1 Comment

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  1. Alice Wisler says:

    Hope you feel better soon, Jen!