Jumping Into the Deep End

Many years ago, I spent many a hot summer’s day swimming in the pool at the local swim club. It had a shallow end, a middle part for lap swimming, and the deep end. At the deep end lay diving boards. And diving boards, for a kid, meant tons of fun. I’d already been off the low dive many times and took great joy in letting the water catch me in its wet clutches.

But the high dive?

It stood a good fifteen feet above the water. I climbed those steps with typical kid fearlessness. It wasn’t until I stood gazing at the deep blue water below that nerves assailed me. Could I do it? I had to. It was either that or face certain humiliation from inching my way back down the ladder.

With a deep breath, I stepped off the end, then landed with a splash below.

What fun! I jumped again and again into those watery depths. It was a true leap of faith, that first time, and one I never regretted.

As adults, don’t we face an obstacle like that high dive from so long ago? Don’t we wonder if we have it in us to surmount it? And when we do, don’t we realize it wasn’t as daunting as we first thought?

For me, that latest challenge was delving into the final round of revisions for my next book before I send it off for a copy edit and proofread.

I sat there and asked myself, “Do I have it in me to do this again?”

I’ll not lie. I’ve struggled with this novel. A lot.

I want to honor our veterans with this, and I want to do it well. But I’d fallen out of love with it. Could I really make this a book people would want to buy?

It’s a question that resounds with a lot of writers.

That brought me to another realization that came from a blog post I recently read by Karina Allen. She says it so well. As women believers, we’re always fighting for something. We’re locked in struggle on every side. We’re to fight out of faith. God fights for us. We don’t fight out of our own strength. That stuck with me.

As I began my revisions, I did two things.

First, I asked for prayer from my writing community. All of them, at some point or another, have faced or will face my circumstances (Do I have another one in me?).

Then, as I sat down to begin, I asked God to guide me as I wrote out of faith that He would provide the words I needed.

It’s worked. Gradually, as I’ve began getting reacquainted with David, Abigail, and Jonathan from The Athena File, I’ve found my groove once more.

I’m writing out of faith now.

And I’m loving it.

Question: When you don’t think you have the strength to go on, where does your strength come from?

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